May 16, 2019 ~ With Early-onset Alzheimer’s The Question Is….

What if the life you dreamed of is no longer going to happen?

What to do when the grief, energy, and financial burden this is placing on the family you love more than you love anything else is too much to bear?

What do you do with this constant vortex of pain swirling without abatement through your heart, your mind, your soul?

What if the times you blank out and hear someone calling your name became one big blank that lasts an eternity and you never recognize the voice again?

What if you feel like you are completely isolated to the point that no one really desires to be present anymore?

What do you do when your life is void of real conversation just because people figure you won’t remember those convos anyway, so they just go silent and only talk when someone who matters can listen?

What if the people around you suddenly are always wishing they were somewhere else with someone else?

What do you do when you feel you are descending into a deep, dark, dank hole from which you will never climb back out of because you will not be able to?

What if you look to the heavens and see the face of someone you love peering over the edge but you cannot hear what they are saying?

How do you counteract a night filled with nightmares every night? Dreams of trying desperately to find your way home and cannot. Being in a packed room full of strangers with no one you know? Peeling the skin of your body to try to find you?

You can pray without ceasing but what do you do when God is not answering your questions at all?

I can pray without ceasing, but what if God is not answering my questions? What if HE is and I don’t remember?

And what if HE is trusting me to already know the answers? What if HE is trusting me to make the right calls based on the fact that I simply trust HIM?

What if HE is expecting me to just keep doing what I am doing, knowing HE is faithful, knowing HIS grace is sufficient to see me through one day at a time?

What if HE has assured me daily that I am safely in HIS hands and HE is holding all of my tomorrows and working it all out for my good and I just forget those moments because of the E-o A?

All of those What Ifs, How Dos, What Dos are answered in the Word of God, the Bible. As long as I turn to it every day, HIS assurance is present.

Cast all your cares on HIM for HE careth for you. I Peter 5:7

Jesus comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. II Corinthians 1:3,4

Though I walk through the valley of death, HE is with me. Psalm 23:4

Though I stumble, I shall not fall, for HE is holding me up. Psalm 37:24

HE is with me always, even unto the end. Matthew 28:20

I will lie down and sleep in peace. Psalm 4:8

HE lifted me out of the pit and set my feet on solid rock. Psalm 40:2

I choose every day to open my Bible and see what sayeth the Word to me for today. It gives me peace. It gives me hope. It comforts me. It guides me. It assures me. It answers my questions.

Why? Because it is HIM/ HIS words speaking to me. The Bible is the voice of God for our daily life and is one of the ways HE speaks directly to us. Are you reading and listening?

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3 Responses to May 16, 2019 ~ With Early-onset Alzheimer’s The Question Is….

  1. ginnygurl says:

    God Bless you Karla. I love your ‘tude. God will sustain you and keep you safe. Altho you may be losing it daily, you are safe in HIS hands. There are Angels watching over you 24/7. Keep the peace and hold on to God’s words & promises. You are okay! You are fulfilling God’s plans for you. Tie a knot and hang on! Much love and prayers sent your way love. Keep writing things down. Whatever comes to your heart and you write it down, I cherish those words. Each and every one of them. Write it again and again. I don’t care how many times you say it or ask me something. Neither does God or your family or friends. We LOVE you just the way you are. Again and again. Our love for you will never change and you will never be a burden. Please stop thinking about that. Try to be positive. Everything is going to be okay. We are all in this together. You are never alone. God is always present even when He’s silent. So what if you forget something. We will simply say it again, and so does God’s word. He will remind you of the things you need to know and so will we. Just ask! And ask again 5 minutes later if you need to. We are all here for you and we will never leave you. Neither will God. You got this! I love you and cherish you always and forever! And I know I am not the only one… ❤

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